Disagreements & Conflicts...
One of the problems we are having in our program right now is having leads that are getting different information and giving different information to each of us. We are also having a problem with them simply not answering our questions or getting frustrated with us asking them. We are a fairly new program and we are trying to set a precedent but without support that is almost impossible.
One of the things we decided to do was have a meeting and ask questions anonymously to our leads boss. This seemed like a good idea and most of us were trying to use the three R's, even though we didn't know they were the three R's. I could tell most of us were trying to respect the conversation, reciprocate and respond in a positive manner. The unfortunate part was a few of the women were not acting the same way. They were getting defensive over things the rest of us did not even understand. I think if we had all been coming from a place of respect we would have had a truly wonderful meeting. Unfortunately not all of us understand what it means to respect, reciprocate, and respond.
Has anyone else had this happen in their staff meetings? How can we change this? The only thing I can think of is to model the correct behavior because confronting it may only make it worse?
Thanks,
Cortnee :)
Cortnee,
I think you are right modeling the correct behavior is the best way to act in that type of situation. One thing you could do at the first of the meeting is to write down the "norms" of the meeting. This will put down the expectations. I have seen this work very well.
Alissa
Hi Cortnee
It strikes me that the manner in which questions are asked can make team leaders defensive if they feel that their judgements or practices are being called into question. It would be interesting to know if the Leads had time to review the questions before the meeting so that they could formulate answers beforehand and even possibly lay out an agenda that would present the information in a logical manner. Being put on the spot can be an intimidating experience and obviously made them less responsive to be able to meet the needs of the team.
My team has a "Roses and Thorns" file that they can add to and which we review at team meetings. In the Roses column they add celebrations that happen such as a child learning a new skill (because quite often we forget our successes and tend to focus only on problematic issues) and reviewing these at the start of the meeting puts everyone in a good mood. In the Thorns section they get to note their questions or suggestions for improvement. I appreciate the fact that I have a chance to review them before the meeting so that I can offer constructive comments to the discussion.... might be something to try.
Carolyn
Cortnee- I have had similiar problems in staff meetings. I really like the ideas that others' have shared with you. I agree that modeling appropriate behavior is important, but it will only be effective on some people. Others' may not have the common courtesy or respect to acknowledge your efforts which make it even more difficult. Essentially, I believe that it is important to have an agenda for every meeting. Agendas are good guidelines for what is going to be discussed, and prepares the staff for discussions.
As for your peers, has anyone asked them what their problem is? Are they not happen in their current position? Or are they just not motivated early childhood educators and will be unhappy regardless of your attempts?
I know what it is like to not feel hear or be respected by those above you. The only thing I can suggest is to continue being respectful no matter what they say or do and pray that one day things will turn around.